Disclaimer: A work of fanfic, no money is being made.

Author's Notes: Inspired by a cliché in the Stargate: The Movie novelization.

Ambushed by Memory



Sometimes I can go days without thinking about her, and the time I spent on Abydos is like a half-forgotten dream. There's always work to do, off-world or on, new peoples to meet, cultures to explore, treaties to negotiate, artifacts that need examination and cataloging. It's fascinating how the colonies have diverged from their parent cultures, the new myths that have been created around the Goa'uld and gate travel... It's easy to get so caught up in the present that I forget the past. The past is still too painful, although I test the memories like touching a loose tooth with your tongue.

It's the little things: When Sam's been using that sweet almond bath gel and I close my eyes and breathe in her scent, allowing me to pretend that it's my wife standing beside me.

When SG-7's back and Sloane's working late in her lab with that 'world music' on her boom box, echoing faintly down the corridors, a song that's all drums and dulcimers comes on. Nights in front of the bonfire, with the clan gathered for storytelling, and when my turn comes I carefully translate history and politics for Kasuf, or old television shows and movies for Shau'ri and Skaara.

And now this. It's a standard reference work, an old friend. I've had this book for years. Read it dog-eared. And I've seen every page a thousand thousand times. I just never noticed before, never really looked at the photography plates. Not with these eyes.

It's a portrait head. Sort of a sculptor's practice sketch. Marble, with traces of the original paint, fourteenth century BC, probably from the area around Edfu.

And it's Shau'ri. Maybe just a resemblance, and love and loss cloud my eyes. I don't have any photographs of my wife. Or maybe... resemblance runs in families... separated by Ra's Jaffa, one family remembers their lost daughter, while on Abydos inbreeding passes the features down and around... I don't know.

I just miss her so damn much.

~ End ~

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Page last updated 8/15/03.